Why I hate natural languages

Human language is broken, ambiguous, and outright bad. Bare with me.

Languages are a way we created to express ideas in a way that didn’t exist before.

Imagine a baby crying — you don’t know why he is crying, is he crying due to hunger, pain, not being able to see his mother. It’s confusing.

So to express ideas in a better way, we created human language.

But it was born at a time where humans were just planning stupid. It is wildly ambiguous — meaning a sentence can mean different things being read by different people. One could argue this makes it artistic and beautiful. You know what also does it do — it makes us inefficient. This is one of the reasons why computers are more efficient in certain tasks than humans. The computer language has proper Grammer and unambiguous. Well, we did develop them when we had a much clearer understanding of maths and everything else.

Human languages also have these weird complications. For eg — I was born speaking Malayalam. An extremely complicated language with more than 50 letters and two types of letters, one which can be both a be a letter or a combination with an existing letter. Meaning X is a letter which is can be combined with our letter y and be Xi and it will be pronounced as Xy. Holy fuck. Why. Why.

I don’t even understand.

Then there is holy garbage — words which are male and female. For example in some languages Earth is female and in others it’s male. The whole debate Earth is male or female is stupid. Earth is a rock. It’s a fucking rock with lava inside. It has no gender. Just like a machine has no gender. It doesn’t need it. It’s more efficient and better that way. What is this need to make everything else in the world to be just like us, humans? Why can’t things just exist without it being diluted into the stupidest ideas ever?

I like English compared to other languages I know. The reason is simple, it’s simple. That’s it.

I don’t love it. I don’t care for it. It’s just a medium to express ideas. And ideas are important. Hence I try to improve the languages I know to increase my ability to express.

Well, there is a bright side, for people like me who don’t give a fuck. Machines understand natural languages better now. Hence I can get one to correct my language. I no longer have to waste my time trying to fix words to mean things that I didn’t intend.

Now I’m not advocating to stop learning languages. I think learning more than one language can help you think better. Help develop ideas in a better way. But at the same time, there is this growing group of people all over the world trying to make people learn the language they speak. Forcefully.

It’s an ass move.

There is literally google translate.

And yet they force you, just cos they don’t want to learn anything.

And that is arrogant. Saying things like it’s our mother tongue — a word that means you are literally too lazy or incapable of learning anything more outside of your environment in which you were born. Or aka you are an idiot.

Or this is the most beautiful language in the world — all languages suck. Let’s be honest. All of them. Not even a single one is good, one thing we should rather look for is a language that is simple and can express everything. And take whatever that fits the bill. It is stupid, at least we don’t have the waste lives of many, learning this — thing.

So in short STOP forcing people to speak your stupid fucking language. It’s dumb. And it’s not the best. And it’s garbage. Just like everyone else. Just a bunch of rat shit made by primitive humans.

I hope I didn’t offend anyone, this is a personal essay and it’s just an opinion. If you have better arguments please do share and change my mind.

Maker 🚀 Student 🎓